I just want to shout these lyrics from the rooftop for every special needs parent facing a new diagnosis to hear.
Showing posts with label Optimism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Optimism. Show all posts
Jan 21, 2012
One Day You Will
I just want to shout these lyrics from the rooftop for every special needs parent facing a new diagnosis to hear.
Jan 15, 2012
What Makes Someone Extraordinary?
I'm sure you've seen videos about Nick Vujicic before, but this one is new (to me, anyway) and as inspiring as ever. I love the parts when he talks about his parents.
Jan 8, 2012
It's All Good
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.
Dec 14, 2011
Who We Are
A sweet perspective from Caleb's grandmother, Janene Baadsgaard, of Baadsgaard Bylines.
I've noticed that when we are meeting someone for the first time we often ask, "What do you do?" It is a common question for most of us are curious about other's occupations.
I've also observed that as my children were growing up many people asked them, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" referring to what career they will choose. Prestige and the ability to earn money are often the result of what we choose to do.
So we grow into adults who focus almost entirely on what we do to feel good about ourselves. If we don't do enough during the day, we feel lazy. If we don't choose the right career or if we do something wrong, we fill our hearts with regret or guilt. More and more we learn to focus the camera lens of our lives on what we do.
The other day I was speaking with someone about my grandson Caleb. When people find out Caleb was born without a brain they often stand in stunned silence. Then they always ask, "What can he do?"
I know the question is innocent and I am not offended but I can't help thinking that they are missing the point. Caleb might not have a brain but he has a heart and soul. If I go through the usual list of important achievements in life, Caleb may not fit the bill. But I always long to explain that it is not what Caleb can do that defines him.
And sometimes the person I'm talking to persists with detailed questions like . . .
"Can he see?"
"Can he move?"
"Can he hear?"
"Can he speak?"
"Can he eat?"
"Can he breathe?"
"Can he think?"
And though the questions are innocent they often leave this impression . . .
"Well if he can't he do anything, I feel so sorry for him and for you. If he can't do anything - what purpose can his life possibly have?"
Because our family has been blessed to have Caleb in our lives we have learned that what makes someone valuable is not what they do but who they are. Though Caleb's body makes is almost impossible for him to do much of anything in a physical sense, his presence is enough for us. His divine and noble spirit is alive and well inside a body with severe physical limitations yet enhanced spiritual abilities. Caleb speaks without language getting in the way. He loves without the inherit limitations of physical affection. His soul shines with a light only seen through the eyes of love.
So the next time you see someone like my grandson Caleb do not ask their family members what they can do. Do not feel sorry for them. Instead say, "Tell me about your child."
And the next time you are thinking dark thoughts about self or others because of something you or they did of failed to do . . . stop.
Then, pray.
Allow yourself to feel the love of God for you and every person who has walked this earth. You are not valuable to God or those around you because of what you do or don't do. You are valuable because you are you.
Your existence - your presence - is enough.
And perhaps when you talk to the youth you might ask, "Who do you want to be when you grow up?" For it is our inner qualities, the qualities Caleb already possesses, like compassion, patience, gentleness, meekness, and love that are the true measures of a meaningful life.
I've noticed that when we are meeting someone for the first time we often ask, "What do you do?" It is a common question for most of us are curious about other's occupations.
I've also observed that as my children were growing up many people asked them, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" referring to what career they will choose. Prestige and the ability to earn money are often the result of what we choose to do.
So we grow into adults who focus almost entirely on what we do to feel good about ourselves. If we don't do enough during the day, we feel lazy. If we don't choose the right career or if we do something wrong, we fill our hearts with regret or guilt. More and more we learn to focus the camera lens of our lives on what we do.
The other day I was speaking with someone about my grandson Caleb. When people find out Caleb was born without a brain they often stand in stunned silence. Then they always ask, "What can he do?"
I know the question is innocent and I am not offended but I can't help thinking that they are missing the point. Caleb might not have a brain but he has a heart and soul. If I go through the usual list of important achievements in life, Caleb may not fit the bill. But I always long to explain that it is not what Caleb can do that defines him.
And sometimes the person I'm talking to persists with detailed questions like . . .
"Can he see?"
"Can he move?"
"Can he hear?"
"Can he speak?"
"Can he eat?"
"Can he breathe?"
"Can he think?"
And though the questions are innocent they often leave this impression . . .
"Well if he can't he do anything, I feel so sorry for him and for you. If he can't do anything - what purpose can his life possibly have?"
Because our family has been blessed to have Caleb in our lives we have learned that what makes someone valuable is not what they do but who they are. Though Caleb's body makes is almost impossible for him to do much of anything in a physical sense, his presence is enough for us. His divine and noble spirit is alive and well inside a body with severe physical limitations yet enhanced spiritual abilities. Caleb speaks without language getting in the way. He loves without the inherit limitations of physical affection. His soul shines with a light only seen through the eyes of love.
So the next time you see someone like my grandson Caleb do not ask their family members what they can do. Do not feel sorry for them. Instead say, "Tell me about your child."
And the next time you are thinking dark thoughts about self or others because of something you or they did of failed to do . . . stop.
Then, pray.
Allow yourself to feel the love of God for you and every person who has walked this earth. You are not valuable to God or those around you because of what you do or don't do. You are valuable because you are you.
Your existence - your presence - is enough.
And perhaps when you talk to the youth you might ask, "Who do you want to be when you grow up?" For it is our inner qualities, the qualities Caleb already possesses, like compassion, patience, gentleness, meekness, and love that are the true measures of a meaningful life.
Nov 12, 2011
Blessed
It's the first two lines of this song that touch me the most.
Welcoming and being grateful in ALL circumstances...
THAT is the key!
I welcome the sun,
the clouds and rain,
the wind that sweeps the sky clean
and lets the sun shine again.
this is the most magnificent life has ever been.
here is heaven and earth
and the brilliant sky in between.
blessed is this life
and I'm gonna celebrate being alive.
blessed is this life
and I'm gonna celebrate being alive
I dwell in the darkness
I let in the light
I sleep in the afternoon
and become the noise in the night
I trespass in temptation
suffered in sacrifice
but I awake each day with a new sunrise
blessed is this life, oh
and I'm gonna celebrate being alive
blessed is this life, oh
and I'm gonna celebrate being alive
Sep 26, 2011
A Few Things to Make You Smile
I've found a few things this week that have brought a smile to my face, I thought I'd pass that smile along! =)
(Images linked to sources.)
Need even more reasons to smile? Check out About.Com's ABC's of Humor for Parenting Special Needs.
Sep 12, 2011
Sep 1, 2011
The Duty of Being Happy
"There is no duty we so much underrate
as the duty of being
H A P P Y."
~~ Robert Louis Stevenson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bugg is the happiest camper that ever there was!
And that makes me happy.
Are you happy?
I hope so!
Find some happiness, friends!
Mid-Week Inspiration
May 25, 2011
Timelines
Timelines
We all live by them....
We hurry to get our dishes done. We hurry to pay our bills on time. We hurry to put our laundry away.
We scurry from one place in time to another each and every day.
Time flies whether you are having fun or not.
When you are the parent to a special needs child you still live by a time line though the scurry is often different.
We hurry from one appointment to another. We hurry learning one diagnosis and then another. We hurry stretching one muscle and then stretching another.
But still, we hurry.
This week, our hurrying around stopped.
Under the worst of circumstances, a conversation brought me to my knees, and all of the world fell on my shoulders. The dishes could wait. The laundry didn't matter. The appointments weren't important at that moment.
As most of you know, the seizure monster has made his existence very known in our Matthew's life. He doesn't seem to want to go anywhere anytime soon. In fact, over the past week we have had two seizures that caused Matthew to turn blue.
Matthew is not a prime candidate for a lot of cutting edge treatments currently available. The ever popular brain surgery is not an option for us. Matthew's seizure monster takes up residency all over his brain. Removing the part of his brain responsible for seizures would leave nothing. The VNS is a possibly, however, it is a scary surgery. Matthew doesn't do well with sedation. A day surgery can often turn into quite a big deal for us. We are not sure a doctor would consider us for this. We are not sure we would consider this for Matthew. There are just too many risks.
Currently, there are only a few medications left we haven't tried. We are just a month shy from seeing a new neurologist who hopefully will bring a new plan to our sweet boy.
But on to the wretched conversation....we have one doctor we trust. ONE! He is our pediatrician. He listens. He cares. He does more than what he gets paid for. He answers every silly question I ask (and believe me I ask a lot.) He is simply amazing! I had to call for referrals. Per the usual he asked about Matthew's seizures. I filled him in on the progression since we had last seen him. I explained how Matthew had stopped breathing twice in one day.
He politely asked me about my CPR and First Aid. Luckily, it is just now outdated and in the process of getting redone. We discussed increasing one medication to see if we could decrease some seizures.
Then......the sky fell.
He said Matthew's prognosis was not good. The seizures were increasing too quickly, and he was not a good candidate for other treatments (see above.) We talked about what this meant. He told me we should be prepared and should remain guarded regarding Matthew and his seizures.
Take a moment and let that sink in.
How do you stay guarded regarding you child?
You simply don't. You cry. A LOT!
You lean on friends. You hold you children and pray for wisdom. You cry some more. You lose sleep. You look awful. You think awful things.
And then you pick yourself up by your boot straps and you go on.
Because around here....no one gets to put a timeline on our child.
Thank goodness, we have someone much bigger in our corner. Our God is bigger than doctors and diagnoses. He knows what is going to happen. I have faith in His plan.
I am terrified of every single day now. Matthew slept all night long the night after I spoke with the doctor. He hadn't slept all night in weeks. At 6:30 in the morning, my eyes popped open recognizing there was not a cuddly little boy in my bed and my heart started to pound. I couldn't breathe.
Believe me, you don't want to be my friend or know me right now. But we will get through this.
We putting a positive spin on this. We are creating a "Matthew's Most Awesomest Things To Do" list. Anything and everything we feel he needs to experience will go on this list, and one by one we will start crossing them off. We are not doing this because we feel the doctors may be right.
We are doing this because in light of what they said we have come to realize that no day is to be taken for granted. Experiences are too important to be put off because of dishes or laundry.
Our children are too important for timelines.
So I ask you, dear blogger friends, tonight hold you children a little closer, stay up a little later, sing an extra song, and don't take another day for granted.
Believe me, we will not!
We all live by them....
We hurry to get our dishes done. We hurry to pay our bills on time. We hurry to put our laundry away.
We scurry from one place in time to another each and every day.
Time flies whether you are having fun or not.
When you are the parent to a special needs child you still live by a time line though the scurry is often different.
We hurry from one appointment to another. We hurry learning one diagnosis and then another. We hurry stretching one muscle and then stretching another.
But still, we hurry.
This week, our hurrying around stopped.
Under the worst of circumstances, a conversation brought me to my knees, and all of the world fell on my shoulders. The dishes could wait. The laundry didn't matter. The appointments weren't important at that moment.
As most of you know, the seizure monster has made his existence very known in our Matthew's life. He doesn't seem to want to go anywhere anytime soon. In fact, over the past week we have had two seizures that caused Matthew to turn blue.
Matthew is not a prime candidate for a lot of cutting edge treatments currently available. The ever popular brain surgery is not an option for us. Matthew's seizure monster takes up residency all over his brain. Removing the part of his brain responsible for seizures would leave nothing. The VNS is a possibly, however, it is a scary surgery. Matthew doesn't do well with sedation. A day surgery can often turn into quite a big deal for us. We are not sure a doctor would consider us for this. We are not sure we would consider this for Matthew. There are just too many risks.
Currently, there are only a few medications left we haven't tried. We are just a month shy from seeing a new neurologist who hopefully will bring a new plan to our sweet boy.
But on to the wretched conversation....we have one doctor we trust. ONE! He is our pediatrician. He listens. He cares. He does more than what he gets paid for. He answers every silly question I ask (and believe me I ask a lot.) He is simply amazing! I had to call for referrals. Per the usual he asked about Matthew's seizures. I filled him in on the progression since we had last seen him. I explained how Matthew had stopped breathing twice in one day.
He politely asked me about my CPR and First Aid. Luckily, it is just now outdated and in the process of getting redone. We discussed increasing one medication to see if we could decrease some seizures.
Then......the sky fell.
He said Matthew's prognosis was not good. The seizures were increasing too quickly, and he was not a good candidate for other treatments (see above.) We talked about what this meant. He told me we should be prepared and should remain guarded regarding Matthew and his seizures.
Take a moment and let that sink in.
How do you stay guarded regarding you child?
You simply don't. You cry. A LOT!
You lean on friends. You hold you children and pray for wisdom. You cry some more. You lose sleep. You look awful. You think awful things.
And then you pick yourself up by your boot straps and you go on.
Because around here....no one gets to put a timeline on our child.
Thank goodness, we have someone much bigger in our corner. Our God is bigger than doctors and diagnoses. He knows what is going to happen. I have faith in His plan.
I am terrified of every single day now. Matthew slept all night long the night after I spoke with the doctor. He hadn't slept all night in weeks. At 6:30 in the morning, my eyes popped open recognizing there was not a cuddly little boy in my bed and my heart started to pound. I couldn't breathe.
Believe me, you don't want to be my friend or know me right now. But we will get through this.
We putting a positive spin on this. We are creating a "Matthew's Most Awesomest Things To Do" list. Anything and everything we feel he needs to experience will go on this list, and one by one we will start crossing them off. We are not doing this because we feel the doctors may be right.
We are doing this because in light of what they said we have come to realize that no day is to be taken for granted. Experiences are too important to be put off because of dishes or laundry.
Our children are too important for timelines.
So I ask you, dear blogger friends, tonight hold you children a little closer, stay up a little later, sing an extra song, and don't take another day for granted.
Believe me, we will not!
Mar 3, 2011
Optimism
"Most people measure their happiness in terms of physical pleasure and material possession. Could they win some visible goal which they have set on the horizon, how happy they could be! Lacking this gift or that circumstance, they would be miserable. If happiness is to be so measured, I who cannot hear or see have every reason to sit in a corner with folded hands and weep. If I am happy in spite of my deprivations, if my happiness is so deep that it is a faith, so thoughtful that it becomes a philosophy of life, — if, in short, I am an optimist, my testimony to the creed of optimism is worth hearing."
~Helen Keller
~Helen Keller
Jan 20, 2011
Optimism
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.
Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."
~Helen Keller
Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."
~Helen Keller
Nov 22, 2010
Look Forward to the Future
Life isn't easy.
I don't think anyone ever claimed anything else. Did they? I mean, really, crazy is the man who says life is easy. But, it's also incredibly good, isn't it? I know there have been those who believe Samantha's story is tragic, that it's sad, that she is a trial in our life. I guess I understand why they think that, but I don't agree. She's not tragic. It's not sad (well, ok, sometimes it is). And she's all blessing. There are circumstances (because of her situation) that are trying, but she's in NO way a trial. She's beauty. She's kindness. She's generosity. She's forgiveness. She's love. She's a child of God -- right here in my home -- just the way she is. Because of her and all that she is, I am optimistic for the future. After all, if this
I have felt more pure
joy
pain
humility
anger
frustration
sadness
happiness
doubt
delight
faith
hope
charity
desire to improve
desire to relax (!)...
my priorities have realigned...
I have also
grown closer to family and friends
added amazing people to my circle of family and friends
...among other things.
So, yeah. Because life is pretty sweet, I can...or maybe choose to...look forward to the future with optimism. And it makes me smile.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
