A Few Special Ways My Non-Verbal Child Communicates

In my process towards acceptance of having a child with special needs, one of the hardest hurdles was to accept that she may never speak, or at least not in the traditional way a mother usually expects her child to speak. Along my path toward acceptance, though, I've learned a thing or two about Chloe's ability to communicate in unique and special, sometimes even superior ways!

Chloe is obviously and deliriously happy -- so much so that it is contagious. Happiness radiates through her beautiful smile and pierces into the souls of those around her! Although Chloe cannot speak, she seems to whisper words of wisdom with that smile of hers.... Her smile seems to say, "Life is so simple! Life is so beautiful! Look around, take it all in, be grateful, have hope, and be happy!" True, Chloe is non-verbal but my oh my does she communicate with that beautiful smile!

Music is another way Chloe communicates. Her apraxic condition has allowed only a few words to seep out, and one word when asked what she wanted was, "Sing." Although she typically doesn't participate in making music, I still consider music one of our special forms of communication. We have songs that make us happy, we have songs that help us fall asleep, we have songs that bring comfort, we have songs that make us feel love. Music is a pretty big part of our mother-daughter relationship and I believe that's because music speaks when words fail.





One of my favorite forms of communication with my non-verbal daughter is simply being together. Sometimes it's the simplest moments when the TV isn't on, we aren't rushing to and from appointments in the car, we aren't doing stretches or exercises, we aren't gathered with lots of other people when we communicate in a very special way. When we are quite simply together, that is when I feel what she feels and am able to feel a sacred soul-to-soul communication. I would dare say that the simplicity of existing in silence together is one of the purest forms of communication.




Strong love between two people is always a special form of communication, yet one that is hard to put into words even when you have the ability to talk! We are told to speak our love and speak it often. But when someone you love with your entire being and you know that person loves you equally (and possibly even more deeply because they are more pure), that is a sweet form of communication built on a foundation of trust. Learning to trust that feeling rather than depending on hearing the words or being the recipient of grand gestures to show love is a hard language to fully comprehend, yet one that is powerfully undeniable and a privilege to learn.









Chloe's hugs are a glimpse into heaven. Because she has little to no control over her body, her hugs are not given on demand, they are rarely the same, they are few and far between. But they never disappoint and are always worth the wait. Chloe's hugs communicate gratitude, love, and a zillion other emotions that Webster has not been able to create a word for. I'm not trying to suggest that Chloe's hugging communication is at a higher level than that of Webster, but, actually... maybe that's exactly what I'm trying to suggest ;)







Chloe draws people in with another unique form of communication: a light in her being in a sparkle in her eyes. She shines. She radiates. I'm telling you, perfect strangers flock to her! There is something in that twinkle, something in her glowing presence that speaks to people. It speaks loud and clear to me, that's for sure!





Does your non-verbal child "speak" to you? Tell us how!

(By the way, I know my wording on this post is pathetic at best. It's late and I'm tired, but I wanted to share these even if I don't have time to edit. Thanks for your forgiveness!)