What We Know

When you have a child who doesn't speak, sometimes it's difficult...no...it is difficult. When you begin to figure out the nonverbal cues of your child, or the verbal but "wordless" cues of grunts, squeals, or babbles, then things get easier. But then what becomes difficult is the deeper aspect of not knowing and the wondering.

When Samantha was 2, it occurred to me that I may never hear her really speak. And I began to wonder-- What is she really thinking? What would her little voice sound like? Among the many things I wanted to hear, I love you is that "one little phrase that I know" she can't say -- at least not right now...and perhaps not in this lifetime.

But over the past year, as often as I tell her I love her, I don't feel the need to hear her say it to me anymore. I have come to realize that I know she loves me because I see it in her eyes ~ in her hugs ~ when she cries out and is comforted when I come to her aid ~ in her giggle of delight ~ in her cuddles ~ when she nuzzles into my chest ~ when she lays her perfectly tiny head underneath my chin ~ when she tries to squirm out of the arms of others when I walk in the room...because she wants to be with me...her mommy. So, even though hearing would be nice, I've decided just knowing it is more important to me.

Meaghan Smith is an incredible musician. I'm currently deeply in love with her and her music. I really can't get enough. (Dear Meaghan: I'm expecting some kind of "biggest fan" award any day now.) When I got her cd, I listened straight through, loving every single song. But when I heard "I Know," a love song, I immediately thought of Samantha and our children who can't say those 3 words -- I love you. I thought about these feelings I've recently had that I've just shared. Because, we know it, don't we? We may not always feel like we have all the answers, and the more involved in the special needs community I become, the more I realize I don't know a thing and have so much more to learn and investigate. Do you ever feel that way too? (Please don't tell me it's just me.) But, what we do know...aside from what is the best therapies, books, foods, medicines, etc...we know our kids love us. And we love them too.

Take a minute to think about it and share with us: How do you know that your child loves you? What does he do that says, "Gosh Mom, you really are my favorite?" What does she do that makes you melt because you know, when she does that thing...you know she's telling you she adores you? The more you think about it, the more you'll see those little things that say You're pretty great and by the way, I love you.

It's in our hello
In the way your smile glows
And it's in our good bye
In the tear in your eye
And all in between
When you're lookin at me

I know, I know, I know
What you don't say

It shimmers through
In the things you do
When you write me a note
And send it by the post
What you might not sign
On that bottom line

I know, I know, I know
What you don't say

Words are not needed
And though my ears
Could be misled
My heart can hear instead
What goes unsaid

You'll leave me with this
A hug and a kiss
And that little phrase
Those three words
You can't say
But please don't feel blue
Cause I always knew

And I know, I know, I know
And I love you too