The Gifted Child

I am scared. Terrified.
Beside my self, most of the time.


I believe this to be the way every mother to a special needs child(ren) wakes up in the morning.

There are some days that derail this train of mine. We can be moving and shaking. We are heading in the right direction, with time to spare and then......

BAM

The wind gets knocked out of me, and I start back at the beginning.

Raising a special child takes guts! You are not only getting rid of the monsters under the bed, but also the monsters in the doctor's office. You face things not many other people could even imagine, and if you're lucky you do it wearing a clean shirt with brushed hair!

As an adoptive parent, I have often felt inadequate in terms of my children. I wonder if I am ever good enough. Do I make the right medical decisions? Do I make the right decisions at all? After a long talk with a great friend and a hot cup of coffee, I came to realize this is not a fear I have as an adoptive parent, but a fear I have as a parent.

I cannot tell you about how we felt upon hearing about the diagnoses. We knew the diagnoses the moment we knew about our children. I cannot ponder what decisions I made while I was pregnant that may or may not have affected my children. They were both six months old when they came home.

What I can tell you; however, is that our children are brought to us for a reason. I never imagined raising a special needs child, let alone two (we are adopting again within the next five years~~so three). I did not think I was smart enough, powerful enough, loud enough. What I know is that looking into the eyes of your child and feeling their warmth and goodness radiate is what being a mommy is all about. They show me everyday what it is like to push harder, to go further, to be louder. I do not raise them, they raise me!

But when I wake up to a world that is cold and full of misunderstanding, long glances, and uncomfortable silences I remember this:



"Every child is gifted. They just unwrap their packages at different times." -- unknown