"Know from whence you came. If you know whence you came, there are absolutely no limitations to where you can go."
~James Arthur Baldwin
~James Arthur Baldwin
I just got thinking about how she's unable to move or communicate like she'd like to and all the frustration and behavioral issues that go along with that. I got thinking it might be nice for her to know why she's unable to do those things. I realized that when other severe challenges come up in life, i.e. abuse, death, etc, the recommendation is for a person to go to counseling and talk about it. Shouldn't that same principle apply with Chloe?
So I sat her down this afternoon and told her "the story." I've told her pieces of the story before, and I always explain what's going on in the moment, but I've never sat down and explained everything. This time, she got the full scoop. I told her how sorry I was that this happened to her, but how grateful I am that she is so strong and brave through it all, that I am grateful to be her mom and that she is an inspiration to me.
It was a very tender time. I didn't just tell the story, I told parts, then asked her to talk to me about it. And talk she did! She talked to me in her own little Chloe babble language. Although I don't know exactly what she said, I'm sure she was just getting out some feelings, and I'm sure that felt good for her. After all, we all need to vent now and then, right?
Even with non-verbal children, I think it's important to keep those lines of communication open... talk to them, express your feelings to them, allow them to do the same.
Chloe telling me how much she likes her birthday cake, May 2009
I'm not a professional, but it's just what I think.
Have you tried this?
9 comments:
I LOVE that quote at the top! What a beautiful picture too. I share with Ben his story often. I try to do this with not just Ben, but all of my children. Thanks for sharing this. :)
I love the quote as well! I believe that all children know and understand what we are saying, even if they cannot express what they are feeling. We definitely need to keep those lines of communication open.
So true, Tara. Never told Faith the STORY.. but we probably should. Sweet pic, btw!
Since Jackson was born, we are saying more and more stuff like "when you were a baby," but I've never told him the whole story--definitely food for thought and a special moment I need with him!!!
I think you're right, I'm sure she understood a lot more than we'll ever know.
What a wonderful reminder! Thank you!
What a wonderful reminder! Thank you!
wow! Great post! And a great idea! Perhaps MY Chloe and I should have a talk. . . . Thanks, Tara!
Kelly
http://www.ourordinaryday.wordpress.com
Tara,
I love your idea. That is so sweet, and I can just picture Chloe talking to you. I gave your kidz blog out again today to another one of my patient's mom's. They were so cute I always hope they will tune in and find the strength and support that is here. I hope one day to see one of their stories on the blog as they all have such amazing tales to tell. I tell them your blog is a place they can share stories and feelings. You guys are all awesome and do such a great work. My heart is warmed by working with special needs children, reading about them and thinking about them as well. Thanks again for all you do.
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