A Little IEP Humor

Top Ten Signs...
That You're Going to Have a Bad IEP Meeting
By Colleen F. Tomko


10. The IEP invitation lists "drive-thru" hours.
9. When you get to the meeting, the staff want to know what you are doing there.
8. They give you complimentary white flags and tissues.
7. Your child's student ID # is 666.
6. They try to convince you that the attending speech therapist really is the janitor's identical twin.
5. You find yourself explaining that...the regs say they can use IU's for related services, not I-O-U's.
4. The special ed coordinator says 'Have we got a place for your kid".
3. They think "inclusion" is some type of venereal disease.
2. The staff is bumming because their label maker burned out.
1. You over hear the staff talking about the Least "Resisted" Environment.

I Do Not Like These IEPs
~Author Unknown

I do not like these IEPs
I do not like them, Jeeze Louise
We test, we check
We plan, we meet
But nothing ever seems complete.
Would you, could you
Like the form?

I do not like the form I see
Not page 1, not 2, not 3
Another change
A brand new box
I think we all
Have lost our rocks.

Could you all meet here or there?
We could not all meet here or there.
We cannot all fit anywhere.
Not in a room
Not in the hall
There seems to be no space at all.
Would you, could you meet again?

I cannot meet again next week
No lunch no prep
Please hear me speak.
No, not at dusk. No, not at dawn
At 4 pm I should be gone.

Could you hear while all speak out?
Would you write the words they spout?
I could not hear, I would not write
This does not need to be a fight.
Sign here, date there,
Mark this, check that
Beware the students ad-vo-cat(e).

You do not like them
So you say
Try again! Try again!
And you may.
If you will let me be,
I will try again
You will see.

Say!

I almost like these IEPs
I think I'll write 6003.
And I will practice day and night
Until they say
"You got it right!"