Charlotte's Story

Charlotte was born on June 30, 2005 after a physically easy but emotionally difficult pregnancy. She was our first child and had been diagnosed at about 22 weeks gestation with partial trisomy 16 and partial monosomy 9 after a few few "funny" findings on ultrasound and finally an amniocentesis. This meant she had an extra piece of chromosome 16 and was missing a part of her 9th chromosome. This was a very rare finding--there can be any number of unique chromosome arrangements and the doctors were unable to find any other cases like hers in the literature. We were told I would most likely miscarry before birth, or that our baby girl may survive a few moments. We were also told that this was the best case scenario, because otherwise she would "stare at the ceiling until she died" and never recognize us or have any quality of life. We also found out my husband is a balanced carrier for this translocation.

Despite this very grim prognosis and the many opinions we received that termination would be best for all involved, we chose to carry to term with the hope we would get a few moments with our first child. During the weeks that followed we constantly reminded one another that we had chosen to place our baby and ourselves in God's hands.

When she was born--much larger than expected at 6 lbs 5 oz and beautiful beyond description--we were thrilled when she cried and breathed with very minimal intervention. She stayed in the room with us after her birth and was passed from family member to family member for hours. When it became clear she wasn't going anywhere, the nurses came in and we gave her a bath right in the room.

Three days later we brought her home with the warning she would likely be with us only days.

Charlotte was a sleepy baby and had to be woken up in the night to eat. She ate well from a bottle but unfortunately did best on Nutrimagen, an expensive and smelly formula. We were thrilled when we were able to switch her to soy. She was very prone to terrible diaper rash and grew slowly, but we were happy for each day we had with her.

As the days turned into weeks, we started with the specialists. She began seeing Early Intervention at 3 months for physical therapy and also saw Cardiology, Orthopedics and Genetics in addition to frequent trips to her Pediatrician. After spiking a very high fever and being admitted to Primary Children's Medical Center for the first time in October 2005 we found out she had kidney reflux and was on antibiotics her entire life to prevent infection. Soon after she had an incident of respiratory arrest while at Grandma's and after being worked up for days in the hospital, she came home on 24 hour oxygen for apnea and pulmonary hypertension.

Charlotte was growing. She smiled and giggled but didn't make eye contact or reach for toys. She had been born with trigoncephaly, which meant her forehead had fused into a point. We had been told by the Neonatologist that this was because she had no frontal lobe to make her skull form correctly, which, he pointed out, was the center of personality. Charlotte's Orthopedist who casted her crooked foot asked us what we were doing about her head, which we said wethought was just a cosmetic issue. He sent us right across the hall to a surgeon who suggested an intense 8 hour surgery. He explained that her brain (which we thought was nearly non-existent) was unable to grow with her skull sutures fused and it would be in her best interest to have the sutures opened to allow for optimal growth and to reduce the risk of seizures and other problems. I was so happy to have a doctor looking out for Charlotte and her future, and we decided to go ahead with the surgery.

When Charlotte was 8 months old we shaved off her beautiful dark hair and she underwent a bilateral orbital advancement. It was a long surgery and was scary, but she did well and went home a few days later. A week after returning home from the hospital, on a Sunday morning, Charlotte reached for a toy for the first time, and days later lifted a baby cookie to her mouth and sucked on it. It was incredible to see her progress after the surgery. She immediately began making eye contact and smiled much more often. She was a different baby girl.

Charlotte did well for the next year, but her growth dropped off quite a bit. Doctors started suggesting a feeding tube which we fought. We were afraid she would lose her ability to eat and she loved to eat. Finally after an episode of reflux and pneumonia we decided to go for the g-tube and Nissen procedure. It took months for her to be healthy enough to place it. We will always wish we had done it earlier. After a difficult surgery and hospital stay we began using her g-tube to feed continuously at night. She continued to get her favorite foods during the day as well. Charlotte again grew by leaps and bounds. Her hair grew like crazy and she had energy to roll and play and laugh. Looking back on pictures of her before we placed the g-tube we are broken hearted. She looks so thin and sick! She was just not able to eat enough to meet her needs. We were also much more likely to get her full medication doses through her g-tube and were able to keep her hydrated when she got sick and refused to eat. There are times I still wish all kids had g-tubes.


Life with Charlotte fell into a predictable pattern over the next months. There were fevers and middle of the night rushes to the Emergency Room. There were many therapy appointments, minor surgeries, the occasional respiratory emergency and big scare, and so many triumphs. Charlotte was happy. She had a great sense of humor and a strong personality. She loved spending time with her family and big dogs. She had her favorite toys and her definite dislikes. However her health was always fragile. I hated going to cardiology appointments as I knew her pulmonary hypertension was slowly worsening and there wasn't much anyone could do about it. I hated having to turn up her oxygen during colds and seeing her struggle. I hated taking her for haircuts, because for some reason despite all the other awful things she had to endure, she really could not stand having her hair cut.

Charlotte got a little red wheelchair for her 3rd birthday and started preschool later that year in 2008. She had learned to sit up on her own and was clearly quite proud of herself. She was learning to wear her hearing aides and seemed to be understanding a few signs. She was affectionate and happy. She also had a new baby sister Ella, who was born healthy in October 2008. It was frustrating but kind of fun to watch Charlotte go through the usual jealousy that comes with a new baby. She would glare and refuse to look at Ella, throw fits when I fed her and try to bite Ella if she was able to get close enough. Within a couple of weeks she got used to having her around, but we still had to watch out for the biting.

That winter we found out Charlotte had aged out of the recommended period for Synagis, a monthly shot that helps prevent RSV. She had a hard winter, and was often sick and missed a lot of school. It was heartbreaking to see her losing some of her skills she had picked up over the last few healthy months but we held on to the hope that spring would come early.

In February 2009 Charlotte spiked another fever and her oxygen need went up. We went to the ER after much prayer and she was diagnosed that night with RSV. I was actually relieved that it wasn't heart failure. Over the next few days Charlotte did not improve and soon had pneumonia as well and was in the ICU. On Saturday February 21 we called our families together and everyone came to say goodbye to Charlotte. It was like an echo of her birth day--the family all together in a hospital room passing around a now-much-bigger baby and giving her kisses and crying over her. She passed away very peacefully surrounded by those she loved and who loved her.

Over the next few weeks I felt Charlotte so close and I was surprised at how full of light I felt. It was a special time. However after awhile the grief set in and we worked through it as a family and on our own. How grateful we were to have our little Ella with us and the support and love of our families. Grieving is a long and possibly endless process but knowing Charlotte will always be a part of our family helps us cope with the loss of our darling girl. We miss her terribly but talk about her often and her little sister recognizes pictures of her, even though she was only four months old when Charlotte passed away.

We also began to consider how and if we could continue to grow our family. Ella had been a happy surprise but doctors estimated our risk for having another child with an unbalanced translocation between 12 and 25%.

We began exploring our options, and decided to make a decision in February 2010. In late January I was asked by a woman at work if we were interested in adoption. I said yes and within weeks we had met an amazing young woman who was expecting a baby girl in May. The weeks flew by and Ava joined us on May 5 2010. Two month earlier on March 5th, I had discovered I was also expecting again, despite the fact we had taken precautions. I also felt fairly strongly that this baby was not healthy.

Our fears were confirmed and I am expecting our 4th daughter on October 20 2010. She has the same chromosomal abnormality as Charlotte. She also appears much healthier than Charlotte did on ultrasound, does not have trigoncephaly or any heart issues at this point, and her name is Lily. Although we know anything could happen, we know there is a good chance Lily will be with us for more than a few days.

We have many fears. We always wondered how we would ever handle Charlotte's appointments and hospital stays if we had other children, and now we have two other very young girls. We are not looking forward to watching another child suffer through medical procedures and are praying hard that Lily will not suffer from pulmonary hypertension and not need 24 hour a day oxygen. We also look forward to using all that we learned while Charlotte was with us to help Lily reach her fullest potential. We are excited to have another very special spirit in our home, and have to believe that this is God's plan for our family, and an extension of that commitment we made years ago to place our baby and our lives in God's hands. In the end if we have faith this experience will be for the betterment of all of us. Charlotte gave us so many gifts. We go in this time with much less sadness, much more hope, and the wisdom, experience and joy that Charlotte gave us.