Unexpected Diagnosis

My name is Angela and I am 25 years old. I was born three months early weighing in at 2.7 pounds. I don't remember a whole lot of my child hood except I walked on my toes since the beginning. Anytime anything was wrong with me whether it was trouble walking or slow ness in school, they told my mom it was because I was a preemie and left it at that. At age six my doctor decided to help me walk better they would lengthening my tendons in my legs. A few weeks of physical therapy and they called it good. I always had a feeling in my gut that something more was going on.

Well a few months ago I started to lose strength in my legs and arms. I also lost the ability to move my left foot. I decided to go back to the doctor and see if they could help me this time. First I went to a foot doctor who told me he couldnt help me and shoved me out the door without explaination. Next I went to a limb specialist...this is the day my world changed. He asked me and my Mom who came with me if I had ever been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. My Mom and I both said no it had never even be suggested to us before. I left there having more questions then answers and not wanting to believe what he said. I was then sent to a Neurologist, who I loved. He ran every test and did a bunch of MRI's. He sat me down and said I have a Muscle Form of Cerebral Palsy and that there is no cure. I thought my world had ended right there. That is a lot to process and I wasnt sure if I was really ready for a diagnosis. I went to another doctor and got the same answer. It was time to face reality and realize that I was now part of the Special Needs community whether I wanted to be or not.



All of this has happened in the last few months. Doctors can't give me many answers to why this happened. They think I have always had it and that Doctors did not want to scare my parents and they assumed we would be better of not knowing. I still have a hard time with this and hold a lot of anger as I believe I have a right to know.

It's kind of funny really because I have always worked with Special Needs kids and love every minute of it. I guess I just bonded with them and I really never understood why. After the diagnosis I realized all the little things I do that could have been CP related. Like the way I walk (a constant source of hurt feelings for me, kids made fun of me as a kid) the way I hold my hands (they are folded up and close to my body) I had a hard time learning in school.... There is more but I won't go into all of it.

I currently still have trouble walking and moving my feet. My hands and arms have lost muscle tone. But I have hope with work I can strengthen them again. I go to physical therapy twice a week and we are trying to figure out the right meds for me now.

I finally feel content with who I am and where I am headed. I love taking care of others and sometimes forget about myself. I love to be a little different than everyone else. I enjoy going to concerts and dancing with my friends. I spend a lot of time working but hope to change that this year and having a little more fun. You can read more about my story on my blog, Welcome to the Roller-Coaster Ride.