My Heart Shall Not Fear

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?....

Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear...

Psalm 27: 1,3

The story of a child with Tourette Syndrome by his mother, Melissa, the Multi-Tasking Mama.



We have three children. JC is 15, J is 12 and M is 11. J and M live at home with us in Martinsburg, WV. JC currently lives in a residential treatment center in Philadelphia, PA.

JC is my husband’s son from his first marriage. We fought for two years to get custody of him and finally did so in March 1999. He had just turned six that same month. His biological mother's rights were terminated due to abuse and neglect.

We knew when JC came to live with us that he had behavioral issues. He had been in kindergarten when he lived with his biological mom and had been suspended for violent behavior. We thought that with psychological counseling these issues would be resolved. We did not know then what we would be up against.

When JC first came to us he continued with his acting out at school. I quickly became an IEP (Individualized Education Program) expert to get him access to the services that he needed, including behavior plans, social skills classes, etc. I also volunteered at his school two days a week so that I could be there to help his teacher.

When he was seven we noticed that he continually made this throat clearing noise. We had him evaluated for allergies, etc. His eyes would blink, his nose twitched, his legs would flail out, all seemingly involuntary. A doctor finally did an EEG and told us that JC had Tourette Syndrome. This, coupled with the trauma he had endured in his early years, explained the difficulties he was having at school. Learning difficulties and ADHD are frequently comorbid disorders with a primary diagnosis of Tourette’s.

Unfortunately, JC’s behaviors escalated both at school and at home. He was very physically aggressive with myself and our younger boys. He had a counselor from the day he came to live with us but we were all at a loss of how to cope with his violent outbursts. He also had issues with sleep - wetting the bed, night terrors, that type of thing.

When he was 10, we finally gave in and put him on medication. We had resisted because of all the scary side effects. The meds really did not seem to help, they had to keep being changed because on one med he was lethargic and the next med he was on a high. When the psychiatrist put him on an antidepressant, Jason attempted suicide. This led to his being diagnosed with bipolar. He had two inpatient psychiatric hospitalizations and too many outpatient partial hospitalizations to count.

The straw that broke the camel’s back so to speak was when he “attacked” his principal with a golf club and ran away from the school. He was only 10 ½ years old but the school still insisted that law enforcement become involved. The end result of their involvement was that in the 6th grade when Jason was 11 he was removed from our home by a judge’s order and placed in residential treatment in December of 2004.

This has been the most difficult time of our lives. We live in a rural area that afforded very little options for residential treatment. For the last four years, JC has lived at least two hours away. My husband and I travel to see him once a month and participate in family therapy sessions by phone due to the distance.

His removal from the home has elicited differing reactions from our two younger boys. The older one has had to work through a lot of resentment towards JC for the way he was treated. Our youngest was more affected by the absence of his oldest brother than the past. They have both had to be in counseling to address the impact all of this has had on them and our family as a whole.

My husband had a really difficult time at first because he felt guilty. He had divorced JC’s biological mother in 1995 due to her infidelity and returned to WV from another state. He had to work through feeling like JC wouldn’t be “this way” if he hadn’t left. Once God healed him of that, he was able to play a much larger role in helping me cope with having a special needs child and with making sure that our other boys didn’t slip through the cracks.

I coped by educating myself. I read every book on Tourette’s, bipolar and adopting a child with a history of abuse. I also attended every IEP, special education and advocacy conference I could get my hands on. I think that knowledge is power and in order to be the best mom I can be I needed to know how to advocate for him.

JC’s formal diagnoses’ include: Tourette Syndrome, Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. He has been on medications including Medadate CD, Abilify, Trazadone, Zoloft that were ineffective. His current medications are Clonidine (for his tics) and Depakote (for mood stabilization). He has been stable on those meds for about two years.

After JC was living in residential care out of our home we became a very isolated family. We were ashamed and felt inadequate that the judge had placed him elsewhere - even though all the social workers and even the judge himself commended our parenting. It was a very difficult situation to explain to people at church, etc. But one Saturday I was at my youngest son’s basketball game and there was a lady obviously having difficulty with her older son. My heart just resonated because I had been there. I had been called a B*&^% in public, 10 year old having a temper tantrum and having to leave an event. I went over and introduced myself and we (and our families) have been great friends ever since. She and her husband were the only people who understood what we were dealing with (until I became a blogger and discovered a world of support).

JC is in a residential treatment center about three hours from where we live. We write to him weekly, speak to him on the phone and visit him one time a month. Because of abuses perpetrated (I hate that word BTW) to his younger brothers the judge will not allow him to return to our home when he is discharged. So, his social worker and I are working to find a group home/foster home setting that is closer to home and where we can have increased visitation with him.


JC is very artistic. He is excellent at drawing and creating things out of legos. He especially enjoys origami. He likes music - Christian rap. He also plays video games, typical teen boy stuff. He is not much for physical activity. He also loves animals and is capable of being very loving and gentle with pets. He is a tall, handsome guy who looks a lot like his Daddy and he is so brave. He is doing what he needs to do to be discharged (it took him awhile to get with the program, so to speak) and we are so proud of him.

JC wants to be an architect when he grows up and says that he wants to live in NYC. We believe that he can be anything he wants to be and as his parents, no matter his address, we will support him in his dreams.

Our family is redefining what “normal” is. We are no longer ashamed and embarrassed. We would rather tell our story so that we can help others going through this. Children with emotional disorders (particularly attachment problems during the adoption process) exist and people need to know there are people out there who pray for those kids and their families. My husband and I are some of those people.

My advice to other parents is don’t isolate yourself. Advocate for your child - if the school system is being difficult, get an attorney. Attend every meeting (even if it is by phone) that has anything to do with your child and their treatment. Take notes, keep copies of EVERYTHING.

The reason I am so excited and supportive of KIDZ is that something I wish I had was a support group. As a parent of a child with behavioral issues, you feel very isolated and alone. Some friends didn’t understand and would think we weren’t parenting or disciplining him adequately. You have to learn to ignore that, pray and just do the best you can. No one knows how hard it is unless they have been in that situation of parenting a child that is atypical in anyway.

The book, The Bipolar Child, was very helpful. Also scriptures including Psalm 27, Psalm 68:5-6 and Isaiah 58. Cafemom.com has great support groups for mom’s with special needs kids- I have made a lot of friends on that site.